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The Fake Guru
Jun 23, 2022
The Magic Mushroom Hotel
You know what the worst thing about the hotels around the Mediterranean heel of Italy is? It's the nightly struggle with the hotel AC....
93 views0 comments
The Fake Guru
Nov 11, 2021
The Satellite Mechanic
Taking a deep breath, the Satellite Mechanic ejects into outer space. Leaving the pod is always the most harrowing part of the repair...
64 views0 comments
The Fake Guru
Nov 5, 2021
The Rain Rider
Today is the big day. Well, technically tomorrow is the big day – but today is a big day too. One year ago, he’d booked his first day of...
34 views0 comments
The Fake Guru
Nov 5, 2021
The Excel Guru
“I have an EXCEL SPREADSHEET for everything man. Look!” I lean in and, shading my eyes against the hot, Tuscan sun, peer into the...
14 views0 comments
The Fake Guru
Oct 28, 2021
An Ode to the G.O.A.T
THE CROWD CHANTS. The music fades. The curtains rise. Everyone stands and cheers as he steps into the spotlight. “Thank you. Thank you!”...
3 views0 comments
The Fake Guru
Aug 10, 2021
The Man on the Mountain
IN THE AUSTRIAN ALPS lives a wild man. To behold him in his natural habitat, one might easily mistake him for a mountain bear, for he is...
6 views0 comments
The Fake Guru
Aug 10, 2021
The Boy, the Stars and the Earthquake (or: The Satellite Mechanic - Part I)
HE WASN’T QUITE SURE WHERE THEY WERE, but he knew they were somewhere in California. His parents had told him that they’d stopped between...
5 views0 comments
The Fake Guru
Aug 10, 2021
The Man Who Claimed to be Off the Grid
ONE AFTERNOON we decided to join some friends at a pool party. The Soul Street, a gourmet street food restaurant with pool access DJ was...
3 views0 comments
The Fake Guru
Aug 10, 2021
The Writer's Block
I don’t want to write today. Can that just be the end of this essay? I guess not – but at least those sentences rhyme Don’t get your...
2 views0 comments
The Fake Guru
Aug 10, 2021
The Solitude of Thought | He / Him
HE LOOKED OUT OVER THE PALE BLUE OCEAN and dug his feet into the hot sand. Earlier in the day, he had picked up a single grain, just to...
4 views0 comments
The Fake Guru
Aug 10, 2021
The Solitude of Thought | She / Her
SHE LOOKED OUT OVER THE PALE BLUE OCEAN and dug her feet into the hot sand. Earlier in the day, she had picked up a single grain, just to...
1 view0 comments
The Fake Guru
Aug 10, 2021
The Sausage Roll Lady
“YOUNG MAN! Young man! Wait just one moment please!” The portly Sausage Roll Lady comes waddling out of the bakery, waving her doughy...
6 views0 comments
The Fake Guru
Aug 10, 2021
The Builders
A LONG, STEEL PIPE smashes against my head with a metallic CLANG! I’m awake!! What day is it? What year is it? I look at my alarm clock....
3 views0 comments
The Fake Guru
Aug 10, 2021
The Insolent Laptop
OH NO. Here we go again – 8.30 am sharp – armed with that sizzling, hot cup of coffee and that wet Bircher Müesli she mechanically...
3 views0 comments
The Fake Guru
Aug 10, 2021
The Postman
We watch the pot, waiting for it to a boil. As I pour the hot water into the French press, the bitter aroma of fresh coffee stimulates...
7 views0 comments
The Fake Guru
Aug 9, 2021
The Tram Driver who went to the Rave
“THAT’S IT! Final stop – everybody out!” The disembodied voice of the Tram Driver blares statically through the speaker. “Final stop?”...
3 views0 comments
The Fake Guru
Aug 9, 2021
The Man with the Lobster Hand
One day, we went to a rave at the top of a mountain. As we walked up the gravel road our path merged with those of creatures and people,...
62 views0 comments
The Fake Guru
Aug 9, 2021
The Girl under the Yellow Umbrella
THE SUN BURNED in the sky. It was just past midday, and I was thankful for the cool blast of the AC in my eclectic Italian rental car....
18 views0 comments
The Fake Guru
Aug 9, 2021
The Fatalist Barber
“How short you want it?” I look into the mirror, straight into the eyes of the masked Syrian wielding a pair of razor-sharp scissors...
4 views0 comments
All Storis
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The Fake Guru
The Agents' Retreat
“Welcome to the Eco Barefoot Hotel. Can I offer you a fresh towel and a complementary papaya juice? You’re most welcome, sir. How was...
630
The Fake Guru
The Nigerian Prince
“DEAR MR. SIR, I apologize to encroach into your privacy in this manner, but I approach you in a request for assistance regarding a...
110
The Fake Guru
The Magic Mushroom Hotel
You know what the worst thing about the hotels around the Mediterranean heel of Italy is? It's the nightly struggle with the hotel AC....
930
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